Just wanted to say thank you for this blog post, it changed my life! I bought all the books you recommended and while they are good it was your post itself that opened my eyes. It was fantastic to hear someone like me but ahead of me.

I have bought many more books about “Yes/positive” attitude and how to stay free of worries, excuses and also how to hone my soft skills in all areas.

I have been a happier person since. Most people have that AHA! trigger somewhere out there. It’s just a matter of finding it. A friend of mine read 4 hour work week and that changed his life!

Thanks for being open about your dark past!

I agree that the receiver of a message like this one is able to disect it, but I also think that in order to gain comfort with skills, those new to them need a tool. This is a tool like any other and as the wielder becomes more proficient with it the message gets better.

This is a starting point for people who struggle with where they are today, not an end-game.

Excellent article and I love the title — Soft Skills Are Actual Skills. My applause to your other key point that tolerance of unprofessional behavior feeds the bad reputation of the technical professions. Bad behavior is not a strength. It is a weakness that weakens the profession.
I was in IT before starting my people-skills (aka soft skills) training business. Thus many of my customers are IT, Engineering, Scientific teams. These are intelligent people with the capacity to learn anything including good to great people-skills. Here’s a related post on my blog “Smart SenseAbilities” that you and your readers can share with others:
http://katenasser.com/professional-soft-skills-resolution-for-2010

Many thanks for this post. I will RT on Twitter.
Kate

I posted my own follow-up thoughts about cultural literacy here:
http://blog.devadept.com/2010/03/importance-of-cultural-literacy.html

Typically I find light, non-offensive humor very effective at difusing potential fur-ruffling situations. Don’t take it personally and don’t make it personal. The other important aspect is to listen, absorb, and make sure you understand before you blurt out opinions. One of my favorite sayings from somewhere: “You were given two ears and one mouth so you should listen twice as much as you speak.”

Chris has a point in that developers tend to be pretty smart and can see through/ignore compliment sandwiches. Ultimately when these situations arise and you need to make a point that’s likely going to go against someone’s grain, you need to be sure to back it up with “fact”, and/or suggest that new ideas are tested out before adopting.