1420 Calorie Hamburger

Hardees
Introduces New Monster Thickburger

Are you flippin kiddin’ me? No, seriously, are you yanking my chain or
what?  Have you seen the size of the collective ass of America? 

I will be the first to admit that I have no room to talk.  I mean, me
in a butterfly outfit is no treat.  But I gotta go on
record with this one.  Check yourself, America.  The last thing you need
to be doing is gagging this fat boy past your collective fat gullet. 

This is enough to make me do some pushups.